Orgasm Cover Man

Ahh....your music is the loudest in the neighborhood and I've always wondered if maybe you had a hearing problem. It's possible.

We are pre middle age and all. That's not the case at all.

It's an Orgasm Cover. And it didn't work tonight.

So, he's playing Top Gun and highway to the danger zone is blaring and I'm wondering why Loud Music Guy is so damn interested in Tom Cruise. He's played this movie often lately. It's raising questions that I didn't want to raise about Loud Music Guy. And then I hear....her.

The moans. Pre Middle Age moans. No, not cougary moans. Moans of a woman around my age and she has every right to moan and I'm glad she feels comfortable and confident moaning but does she have to do it SO loud that it beats out Loud Music Guy's Bose system? Moans THAT loud. And in rhythm? That's a lot for a Sunday. For the Lord's day. She could have at least waited until 12:01 for Makeout Monday.

No, Loud Music Guy your loud music isn't working and you've lost your title of Loud Music Guy. You are heretoestforeveringness known as Orgasm Cover Man. And it's really not working.

And people are walking by. With strollers. Tell her finish and shut it.

Ahh...he just walked out to the balcony. And she's quiet. I think they're done.

Forgive me if I smirk when I see you next. I have a feeling you've got some hidden talents other than your love of all things Tom Cruise.