Brought to you by fake nails. Ten of them.
Reasons to take The Damn Yoga. In no particular order.
Increased energy.
Roman sat down next to me yesterday and when I complained about being so tired thinking I might be pregnant which is impossible since it requires sex he asked, “Maybe it’s that hot flash thing?”
Camaraderie.
I walked up to someone’s desk this week and said, “You didn’t help me pick music so Saturday, you can ZIP IT.” That’s not in most teambuilding books.
Step Relations.
My Stepmother. Even looking at her made me ill this past Sunday. She doesn’t like me and I’m doing my best to love her. I think Yoga would make me adore her. All those endorphins and “I Think My Stepmom Is The Bomb” type feelings will come rushing in when she looks me up and down. I just know it.
Traffic Safety.
I’m certain the practice will center me more and my frequency of hitting cement poles will lesson. And, rather than brake checking close drivers like my niece advises, I will continue to get out of my car and tell drivers to CHILL. Still hoping they are not packin and thus yoga attenders as well.
General Overall Peace, Love and Coleness.
I need this. The sound of someone getting their fake nails filed (who still does that?) makes me want to run into oncoming traffic. That’s when you know you need The Damn Yoga. And when you call it The Damn Yoga instead of Yoga, that’s when you really need The Damn Yoga. I can feel the deep breaths already.
Where’s my mat? I lose it every six months or so. Think it’s under the kitchen sink. Still wish I could spray paint it brown.
Human, full of flaws and moments I wish I was better and not worse,
Cole
This is awesome. And I so totally appreciate the 2nd point you're making. (starting to sound like a spam comment, aren't I?)
ReplyDeleteOh - to be even more spammy - how about a link? I know this REALLY HOT and REALLY FUNNY guy who recently wrote a post about yoga. Similar to yours. I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy it (if the blog doesn't spam me for being so spammy):
http://drewthompson.wordpress.com/2010/08/16/yoga-tax/
You're so funny! I loved this post. I just about spit out my juice when you said the sound of fake nails makes you want to run into oncoming traffic. That's a pretty powerful reaction right there. Love you friend. I hope the Yoga does it for you.
ReplyDeleteYoga, huh? The promise of a small butt wouldn't do it for me because JEEBUS that is SO NOT POSSIBLE but maybe the promise of traffic safety might . . . nahhhhhh. Hope you find peace and tranquility in yoga while I keep on eating and lounging my way into a coma. (I'll let you know how it goes.)
ReplyDelete